How To Choose a Woman for Marriage

Marriage is a bond between man and woman, between one family and other, and sometimes between one culture and other. A family is built up based upon the bond of marriage. Family is the basic unit of society. If family is cohesive, peaceful and progressive, then society shall be cohesive, peaceful and progressive. Hence marriage is very important, not only for a couple but for a society. So stability, peace and bliss in marriage are very important.

A man who intends to marry should first assess or evaluate himself. He should keep in mind his looks, physique, qualifications, earning potential, family background, his race and religion. Then he should proceed in evaluating a woman for marriage. For stability of marriage, one should assess the following points irrespective of either love marriage or arranged marriage.

  1. Look and manners. Everybody wants a beautiful woman for marriage, but not all can be so lucky. Again, a woman has every right to choose a handsome groom. So instead of searching for a beautiful woman, one should see that a woman is good-looking, charming and well mannered. Normally a charming woman has good manners and conversely, a woman with good manners must be charming. A charming and well-mannered woman binds her family with love and affection. Beauty lies inside and not outside.
  2. Age, qualification and profession. A woman may or may not be professional and well paid, but she should be qualified. At times, she may earn to support the family and in the absence of her husband, she may be able to earn and maintain her family. 
  3. Family background, race and religion. While choosing a woman, it is very important to evaluate her family background, race and religion. In India, caste is an important factor. If a woman's family members are responsible and leading honorable lives, then nothing bad may be expected from her. Both the families of the man and woman should know each other and approve of each other. This is essential because if any misunderstanding arises in a couple, then family members may come forward to sort out the differences. 
  4. Horoscope and blood group. In India, the matching of horoscopes of men and women is very common. So it is advisable to go for the matching of horoscopes. Again, it should be a practice to match blood groups of men and women. By doing this, any serious disease can be known (if present) and appropriate precautions taken. Gynecological problems (if present) in a woman should be known.
  5. Marriages within relations. Marriages with close or distant relatives should be avoided. Generally, the offspring from such marriages stand a higher chance of physical or mental disability.

So when these factors are considered while choosing a woman for marriage, a couple may enjoy conjugal bliss forever.


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I can understand where you are coming from with respects to your culture. Although there are some good points made, this article does not necessarily speak to many Westerners as their values and ideals differ from those of Eastern heritage. In many Western societies piety and chastity aren't at the top of the list, nor are race and religion. I respect both Premansu and Sadaf for their convictions and their adherence to their respective beliefs, yet I cannot see how strict doctrine regarding personal relationships will have much relevance to many Western readers. I do agree that taking a personal inventory of one's self, whether it be the man or the woman, is essential to finding the right mate. Before we can pursue long term relationships, we should know who we are and what we want from life. The initial attraction and "butterflies" fade after a while and we're left with someone who must be our best friend, not just our sexual partner.

By Terence Van Essendelft

No where has character, chastity and piety been mentioned, either for the man who is searching for a wife, or for the woman he is looking for. Character, honour, and integrity are one of the first things which should be compatible on both sides. A good moral character of any woman ensures that she'll be a good mother and role-model to her children; that she will raise her family on the right path. Plus, a rogue or criminal would never deserve a pious, chaste woman, and vice versa. So chastity and honour are very important factors to consider when looking for a prospective spouse.

By Sadaf Farooqi