How To Be Helpful Without Draining Yourself

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People with depression live in a very dark place. They can't see a positive future, and they firmly believe that there is no hope and that no one can help them. It is an illness that distorts a person's thinking and leaves those around them frustrated and confused. But there are ways that you can help them without draining all of your own energy.
Step 1:

Educate yourself. Learn everything you can about depression, its symptoms and treatments. Read everything you can find about what a depressed person feels like, to help you understand the behavior and respond to it better.

Step 2:

Provide plenty of emotional support. A depressed person needs plenty of patience and understanding. They often feel that they are alone in the world and have no one to turn to. Always let them know that you are on their side, and that you will always be there for them no matter what. The best thing you can do is to stand by them and offer them support and hope in any way possible.

Step 3:

Listen without judging. The best way to communicate with a depressed person is to listen and empathize. Don't be judgmental or try to talk them out of their negative feelings, as that will likely make things worse. Don't offer advice or attempt to make suggestions about what you think they should be doing.

The best question to ask is, "What can I do to help you?" Don't be offended if the answer is to leave them alone. Sometimes that is best thing you can do for them at that time.

Step 4:

Remember that depression is an illness and separate from the individual. A person with depression is no different than a person with any other chronic illness such as cancer or diabetes. They can't just 'snap out of it' whenever they need to, or they would likely do so.

It's important to separate the illness from the individual in order to help. Always try to keep in mind that when they behave and speak negatively, it is the illness talking and not the person.

Step 5:

Don't exhaust yourself. Caring for a depressed person can be a very draining experience. Be sure to set time aside for yourself to rest and rejuvenate. It's okay to feel angry or frustrated at times, and you may need to develop a support system (a friend or support group) in order to vent your feelings.

Step 6:

Try to help with daily tasks. A depressed person can be completely overwhelmed by simple daily tasks such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, and paying bills. Try to lend a helping hand just as you would if they had any other illness.

Step 7:

Help them find a support group. One of the worst things about depression is the feeling of isolation, as if they are the only person in the world who has this problem. Encourage them to find a support group to spend time with others who experience the same problems, and give them an outlet to vent their frustrations and receive support from understanding peers.

Step 8:

Watch for suicidal tendencies. A seriously depressed person can begin to believe that the world would be a better place without them, and they may feel the need to end their own life.

If they say or do ANYTHING that indicates they are having suicidal thoughts, take it VERY seriously. Don't hesitate to contact their doctor for assistance, and don't leave them alone.

It's very important for the depressed person to know that your feelings for them haven't changed, and that you still love and support them as always. Try to do normal things together as you always have in order to keep your relationship as normal as possible. Simple activities such as taking a walk, going out to dinner, or meeting friends can provide a much-needed mood enhancement. Try to find things that lift you both up, and enjoy them together.

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