Telling someone, even your closest friend that you have herpes is not easy. What more if the one you need to inform is your spouse?
Having such a disease maybe shameful and disgraceful, as people already make personal judgments without hearing the story. Despite this, it is imperative that you let your spouse know that you have herpes. It is her right to know about this matter. Here are some advice on how you can tell your spouse that you have herpes.
- Confirm your condition first. Talk to your doctor. Seek two or more professional advices. Before you confess to your spouse about the herpes matter, it is very important to confirm first if you actually have the sexually transmitted disease in the first place. Second, know exactly what kind of herpes you have, whether you have the simplex2 virus (the common cause of cold sores) or the more severe genital herpes. Know the facts and the exact information that you need to know before you begin telling your spouse about anything.
- Set an appointment for your spouse with a doctor. Make a doctor's appointment in advance, so your spouse can meet the doctor right away just in case your spouse responds negatively or nervously with the bad news. Tell your spouse that she and the doctor can set their own appointment, but ask them the option of a quick and earlier check-up.
- Have a conversation. Go somewhere comfortable away from the public, most probably in your room, where you can talk about the herpes infection. Get your spouse’s attention and ask her to sit down with you for a moment. Try not to build up the discussion but allow your spouse to know that talking about it is significant to your relationship. When you talk to your spouse do not put blame on either party but tell her that both of you must take steps to do what is right for the whole family and for your health.
- Help each other. Bear in mind that you, as a couple, are in it together. Tracing where or whom the herpes infection came from is meaningless. In fact, it will not help you get rid of the infection, and it is so useless. Instead, think and seek ideas for treatments. Seek professional guidance.
These are some tips that you can use to help you inform your spouse about your herpes. As the one who brought the disease into the household, it is your duty to seek help and understand if ever your partner shuns you away. Just take comfort in your courage to have told your spouse about your condition.
However, being able to solve things as a couple may prove to be a miracle that even a sexually transmitted disease could not infect. What is important here is that you do not back down. You just have to keep moving even if everyone leaves you. Surely, your spouse would understand, however, it would be unfair if you would demand too much attention just because you are sick.