How To Argue Safely

Every person is unique and sees the world differently. Each one can form an opinion and respond to stimulus individually. These differences of opinion can invariably lead to arguments. Arguments per se are a normal part of a relationship. How you are able handle the argument is what makes the difference.

There are ways to argue without resorting to blows and physically hurt someone. A positive approach is your best defense when you are engaged in an argument.

  1. First, keep in mind that arguing is an indication that someone is trying to communicate about an issue that affects him personally.
  2. Know that an argument is not necessarily an attack on your person but rather a chance to clear the air, come to an agreement or solve the cause of the problem.
  3. When engaged in an argument, keep yourself relaxed and your voice at an even level. An aggressive tone of voice gives off a negative effect on the other party and can lead to a slanging match. Your relaxed pose can also calm the other person considerably.
  4. Stand at a safe distance from the other person. Do not stand too close or too far from each other that you have to shout to be heard. Do not invade each other’s space. Standing too close to each other is another form of intimidation. Remember that this is not one-upmanship but rather an open, honest discussion about what caused the disagreement in the first place.
  5. Speak clearly so the other person can understand you. Allow the other person to speak while you listen and vice versa. Do not speak at the same time. Listen and understand what the other person is trying to convey.
  6. Show that you are sincere in your desire to resolve the issue. Keep your eyes on the person who is doing the talking. Looking around and letting your eyes wander gives off the feeling of indifference and intimidation.
  7. Do not look down at the other person. You should always be at eye level with the person who is arguing with you. This shows that you are interested to hear what the other has to say.
  8. Never point your finger at the other person, even when you are trying to make a point. That looks intimidating.
  9. Know when to back off. If the argument is taking too long to be resolved, call for a time out so each of you can have some quiet time and regain focus. Sometimes doing that can dissipate the tension.
  10. Lastly, focus only on the present issue. Do not drag up past issues. This means that you have not totally forgotten and forgiven the other person for that.

You cannot escape having arguments with someone. How to maintain a healthy relationship is what counts. Learn to compromise. Learn to listen. Seek to resolve the issue at once and do not let it continue the next day. Do not go to bed while still angry. Look for a solution together and after the argument, always apologize to each other.


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