When a friendship is broken, it is not easy to rebuild it. The deeper the friendship is, the more difficult it is to repair it. If the friendship is just starting out, a problem or a quarrel would signal a time when you could reconsider how much you are willing to give to make the friendship work. If it is already a friendship of many years and the other person is a close friend who has been deeply hurt, it may take a long time and a lot more effort. Think of when you first started to make friends. You may have found it easy to talk to the other person, but to get to know the other person takes time and effort. All of that will be wasted. If the damage has already been done, here are some ways by which you can try to reconcile a friendship:
- Apologize. No matter whose fault it is, if there is a hurt party, better apologize, especially if you had hurt her feelings. If you believe in what you were fighting for that caused the entire problem, then that’s okay. Explain to her that those were what you believed in, but you are sorry that she is hurt by what you had said or done. You did not mean it to be that way.
- Dialogue. When she is ready to talk, the two of you should take time to discuss what happened. What went wrong, what was the problem, what you did not like, and what she did not like. You probably know each other enough to know each other’s behaviors and attitudes so you can assess how to handle the situation. Talk about how important the friendship is, and what the both of you are willing to do to keep it.
- Start small. After a big fight, it is not easy to get back to how things were. Even friends who have fought do not just go back to being as close. That is understandable. But like anything else, friendship needs work. So start working on the friendship to make it what it once was. Or, even make it a stronger one by starting small. Small acts of kindness and genuine sincerity will not go unnoticed.
- Let time do its thing. Nothing heals like time. Just give her time and space, and who knows it might then that she realizes what she is missing. Time has a way of melting people’s hearts, so if the other person is not yet ready to patch things up just yet, just let her know that you will give her time and space, but that you will always…
Be there for her. A friend does not cease to be a friend just because the other person is unwilling to reconcile. At least that is what true friendship should mean. If you are really serious about gaining back the friendship, just be ready to help her when she asks for it, and be ready for her to approach you when she herself is ready to do so.