A marriage suffering from an outside affair can cause intense misery, emotional and psychological pain on the relationship but more importantly to the suffering party. To protect and salvage your marriage from the possibility of divorce, there are some important things to keep in mind that may test your obligations, duties and responsibilities to your family and to your partner.
- Are you willing to forgive your partner? Take some time to reflect on the commitments and vows you have made to known to each other. Even with the pain and hurt of an adulterous partner, it is important to look back at these promises to give you the strength to keep your marriage from crumbling. This may be one of the hardest decisions to come to terms with but you need to make it in order to move on.
- To find peace of mind, you will need to actively communicate with your partner and tell him or her what has hurt you the most and why it has. Speak from within without going the distance to put guilt on your partner and punish him/her for his utter betrayal. The best time to approach your partner is when you are reasonably ready to talk. Do not rush this as a nasty confrontation does not help save a marriage but further degrades it.
- Talk about your differences and find that common ground. This is another essential step in successfully communicating with your spouse. Remember to find compromises instead of submitting with hesitation. Take the necessary steps to fix your outlook, disposition and behavior towards one another by working together.
- Make it very clear that divorce is not the only solution to your problems. Consider taking some time off work to do things you enjoy as a couple. As much as possible, stay away from group activities that could only separate you and your partner from connecting. You may also want to get professional advice and counsel from a panel of professionals. Marriage and spiritual counselors and psychologists are certain to provide you with the step you need to start your marriage over.
- Give your self-esteem a boost. Remember that despite your mistakes that have contributed to the deterrence in your marriage, you are not to be solely blamed for you partner’s infidelity. Get together with your friends and do something wholesome and geared to make you feel better. It’s also best to think positive and work towards achieving a better future for your marriage by enrolling yourself in some activities that stimulate inner peace and love like Yoga or Pilates. Remember to keep yourself busy during these trying times for idleness can lead to a very close-minded outlook.
- Have faith. You can find some strength by joining groups devoted to the same causes such as spiritual and marriage oriented discussion groups. Drawing support from people who can understand your situation can truly help you save your marriage from a downward spiral.
- If you are ready to move on, gain closure by meeting with the involved party. This is something that you must realize and do on your own. Again, speak gently to this person that has hurt you and forgive him or her. While you are entitled to exposing what you truly feel as wife/husband to your partner, avoid a heated confrontation.
Whether you are headed towards a separation or not, realize that any adulterous affair can be stopped for the sake of one’s commitment to matrimony. Therefore, your marriage can be saved if both parties are willing to give it their all.