There is no perfect marriage, and this is what married people always say. If you are having problems with your marriage, then, consider yourself normal.
Problems may be inevitable but it should not ruin the relationship that you have built on love. After all, you gave your word that you will spend the rest of your lives together, for better or worse.
If you are having problems with your marriage, read some of the tips below to help solve your problems.
- Try to be calm and logical. Anger can drive people crazy. They say or do things that they do not really mean to out of anger. As soon as you feel anger creeping up, take a deep breath and go to an area where you can stay focused. Do not discuss unless the both of you are calm and ready.
- Discuss the problem. Have a peaceful talk to discuss the issue as soon as possible. Do not allow the problem to grow bigger before you both decide to discuss it. It is also best to have a talk at home rather than in a restaurant or other public area where you can create a scene. Do not let the children hear your argument. Start with stating how you feel about the situation. Give yourselves a time to share each of your thoughts and feeling about the problem.
- Listen. It is easy to close your ears and mind if you think you are correct and your partner is wrong. But it is important that you listen and respect your partner’s opinion and thoughts. Try to see things from a different perspective and maybe you will understand where your partner is coming from.
- Learn how to compromise. You are not in a debate with your partner to win. Your goal is to be with your partner and win against the problem together. See how you can both compromise to have a solution in place.
- Do not raise your voice. No matter how frustrated you are, do not raise your voice. If your partner has, ask him to remain calm and stop shouting in a comforting tone. Do not attempt to shout back as this will only start a shouting marathon.
- Contemplate. Is the problem more important than your marriage? Is it too big for you to choose and forget about the good memories you have shared together? You will soon realize how petty the issue is.
- Brainstorm. Work with your partner in listing down possible solutions to your problem. List down the pros and cons to help you both decide on which to go with. If you are leaning on different solutions, explain carefully your choice and why you want that.
- Show your appreciation. After the talk and patching up things, show your partner that you appreciate the effort that was put in having a peaceful and mature talk.
If possible, do not sleep without talking things out. The longer the problem is kept, the more likely it is for couples to shove it under the rug and pretend the problem does not exist.