Honesty is a critical element of a successful and secure relationship. Everyone would want his partner to share only the truth, void of any hidden agenda or secrets.
When you’re dating someone, it’s not easy to tell right away if a person is honest or not. It takes some time to really get to know if a person is sincere or merely throwing white lies your way. Since it is very important for both persons involved in a relationship to stay truthful all the time, it’s important that you be able to discern if a person is a liar. Here are some tips on how to tell if you’re dating a liar.
- Observe his interactions with other people. Is he honest with money? Does he give false compliments to other people only to turn around and complain about them? When he answers his phone, does he say where he really is or does he make up a fib? If he easily lies to other people, he can easily lie to you as well.
- Listen for inconsistencies in his stories. Do his stories seem too over the top? Do his stories not match with some details? Pay attention to what he tells you because the more a person talks, the more you can catch him in a lie. You can also try to ask him the same question later on but phrase it differently and see if you can the same answer.
- Extract the truth directly. Ask him directly about something and see if he is evasive in his answers. If he tries to change the topic or he mumbles an incoherent or irrelevant answer, steer the conversation back till you get a straight answer. If you can’t, chances are, he’s lying to you.
- Interpret the body language. This is not a foolproof method of extracting the truth, but this is a good alternative to confronting him directly. Does he make eye contact or do his eyes shift or does he blink rapidly when he talks? Does he break out into a sweat as he tells you something? Does he move about or turn away from you as he talks? These are some signs that he may not be completely upfront with you.
- Investigate and use your resources. If you have the necessary resources and enough time to tell if he is indeed telling the truth, you could investigate further and match what he said with the actual facts. You could search the Internet or ask other people about the information that you need.
- Ask other people. If you have a mutual friend, you can ask about his reputation. A dishonest person will easily gain notoriety so find out what other people say about him.
If there is a pervasive and consistent pattern of lying, you should consider if you want to continue dating him or if you need to move on. However, always remember the old adage that once a liar, always a liar. If you can’t trust your partner, then you can’t build a solid relationship. You wouldn’t want to ruin the rest of your life by spending it with a habitual liar.