He who finds a wife finds a good thing and has found favor in the eyes of God -- thus says the bible. Finding a wife is truly an honorable thing. In some societies it is an initiation to maturity and responsibility. While many people would cherish that idea, managing it is very elusive to many people.
I don’t want to assume that I hold the key to the success of managing this situation, but would be happy to share some recommendations with readers from all over the world. It is my hope that this article will bring happiness to you. There is nothing that comforts a married woman more than the thought that her husband loves her and is by her side all that time. Women desire that their husbands would find such articles and read many of them.
My fellow men, hear me -- the peasant farmer in Colombo and the oil rig owner in Texas have one thing in common: they are both capable of finding women of their choice and living with them happily. While this article is directed to men and husbands, women and wives should e-mail it to as many people as they can.
Below are some of the practices I recommend; if applied well, they can do wonders to the families around the globe.
- Appreciate your wife. You wife was not under any obligation to marry you anyway; she would have as well married another person or stayed single, but she chose to marry you. Appreciate her being part of your life. Think of those situations when she has traveled and you are left on your own with the rest of the family. Think of the excitement that you feel when she hugs you when she comes back. Women like being appreciated, and they have the ability to do a lot of good when they realize that they are being appreciated, and that applies to any other human being. Learn to appreciate your wife for those small things she does for you and for the family. Unlike men, women can sacrifice a lot for the family and they need to feel appreciated. As a husband, play your role well. And as a father, teach your children to appreciate their mom also. Tell them to recognize their mom’s role and appreciate her. You are the prime beneficiary, because you stand to bring up a united and respected family.
- Enlighten her. Nature dictates many things to mankind; you might find a wife who is not as knowledgeable as you. Love resides in the heart of a man and the heart is a primitive hunter; when hunting for love it follows no rules -- it can cross boundaries and ignore racial, cultural or religious divides. If you happen to find a wife who doesn’t know what you know and you think it profits you as a family, teach her. You might find her willing to learn and use this knowledge better than you, and it will help the whole family. You can learn from each other. Remember, when a man and woman come together as husband and wife, they are no longer two but they are one body. You and your wife are one. Women are fast learners and what they learn shall be passed on to the children very easily. Imagine if you teach your wife how to express herself before people and she passes it on to the children. Your family will be great.
- Compliment her. Your wife buys new apparel and you are the first to dismiss it. You are a failure yourself; who will appreciate your wife if you don’t do it yourself? Before other people compliment your wife, do it. She will be in a position to say, 'my husband liked my dress', or shoes or anything else for that matter. If she changes the setup in the house, appreciate it. If she goes to the salon for a make up, she expects a compliment from you. Your wife will ask you to say something about her face, even if she is 65 years old; don’t say anything about the wrinkles in her face. Tell her she is as beautiful as the first day you met her. Of course she knows that she has a 28 year old daughter who looks like her when you met; tell her she is still beautiful. The truth is if she is aging, you are also ageing, so compliment each other and refresh those good times. Surprise her with a dinner outing as a compliment. Go out and tell her the truth -- you are there for each other.
- Throw away your measuring tape. You entered into that marriage with special expectations and your wife should not fall short of that? Tell it to the birds!! You are not perfect yourself. I have said this in a discussion forum and I will write it now for you to read. When your evaluation of a certain woman compels you to take her as a wife, remember this: SHE IS NOT AN ANGEL. She is a human being with flesh and blood. She can get upset, spit some harsh words or react the way you didn’t expect. So keep the measuring tape away and stop establishing benchmarks for her. Instead, advise her with love. High expectation and harsh criticism have been tested and proved to be futile in family building.
- Talk well of her. Your brother will talk well of your wife according to how you describe her yourself. You can’t expect others to talk well of your wife when you don’t. It is not advisable to discuss your wife with other people, but when such a situation is unavoidable, be a good ambassador of your wife. Talk well of her, concentrate on the positive points and ignore those few that you don’t like. You can sort out the negative ones with her in the privacy of your home, but talk well of her before other faces. Your life will be full of happiness.
- When you disagree, agree. Disagreements are there even in Christian families, but don’t need to create hatred. Both of you might be right are both of you might be wrong, but where the argument is not resolved, there is no winner -- both of you are losers. In the kingdom of God, getting angry is allowed, but the two conditions are:
- Do not let the sun set when you are still angry.
- Do not sin in your anger.
Considering these, work out your arguments amicably. If the tempers are so high, wait for them to cool and then humbly resolve the issue. No pretenses.
You might have read this article but you are still single and not married. Keep these tips and exercise them when the right time comes, for under the sun there is time for everything.
It is my prayer that this article shall transform your marriages and bring back the lost love in the name of Jesus.