Romance expert Miss Lora (as seen on the National TV Rachael Ray talk show) comes to the rescue of the clueless in the whacky world of online personals with Chapter 2 on phone calls of "The Southern Guide to Internet Dating".


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Hi! My name is Ms. Lora and I am somewhat of a romance expert. I have had hundreds of men into my ads on the internet and I am sure about one thing, some of you men are clueless, really I mean I love you all, but bless your hearts, but don't panic gentlemen because help is on the way with, The Southern Guide to Internet Dating. My assured five tips to guarantee to help increase your chances of getting a good women because well anything be better than what you have been doing so far. Let's get started shall we. Last week we talked about compliments and the importance of that special phrase, "You look nice." This week it's phone calls and phone etiquettes and what not to do. These days it's safer for you to give your number to a woman. So when she calls, Hi! This is Suzie from the personals, do not say "Who?" Or "Which one are you?" If you can't keep a list of everyone you are giving your number to, you are talking to too many women. Yeah we know you will probably chase all kinds of girls all over the internet. Well we lack a little bit of that bad boy thing. But we also lack the illusion that we are special and we are the only one. So it will be a good idea for you to pretend to. So here are some catch phrases that you can use or when you are on the phone with a woman and can't figure out who the heck she is, "Hi! Suzie, so how has been your week been going so far ?" or try this one. "Hi! Suzie, so tell me more about yourself." Which leads me right into another one of my special secret that you are to remember till the day you die, you are listening up?. The more you ask about us, the more interesting you get. Don't just ramble on about what is in your head. Look if she hasn't said anything in the first couple of minutes in her mind, it's over. And that means no date for you. But if she thinks that you are listening when she was telling some stupid story about her day, without saying a word, you are the best conversationalist she ever met. Really! Let's talk about the no-nos. Do not ask about sex, her bra size or mention anything on your body that can be measured. That is not for the personals. That's for an escort service and trust me you can't afford to go there because it will cost you a lot more than the price of a cup of coffee. More from the Southern Guide of Internet Dating and the number one faux pas that you men make, that has cost you so many good women, you know what I am talking about, cursing you don't want to go there, trust me. I can't tell you how many men I have called up and he is like, how the hell are you. Then he uses the S word and the F word. At least the Southern men will wait till you cook them something. Honey you are talking to a lady, she didn't want to hear that crap. Darling you have one chance to make a good impression and you want your way, you are on the phone with a girl and all of sudden she is like, oh! My mom or my boss or my doctors on the other line I have got to go and then she never calls you back. It was probably your party now. I know you men are like, I am just being me Ms. Lora. Well who wants to date that. Did your daddy teach you nothing?. You know the rules, you are not supposed to be the real you, you are supposed to pretend to be perfect for at least enough dates, till she gets hooked. So that when the disgusting sloppy parts that you start showing up, she doesn't run away, that's how we women do it. So can the cursing because, 'Do you want to know what women really want?'. We want a man that will whisper sweet nothings in our ear like, you have the prettiest eyes and I am taking you to Vegas this weekend and when you use the F- word, all we can think is, you want me to kiss that mouth! Honey you are trying to date a girl not one of your buddies, you can stay at home for that. Okay now back to the southern guide for internet dating and what you should do. Be very appreciative when she does call. See you got to understand, it takes a lot of courage for women to pick up the phone and risk the rejection that you men have been dealing with for thousands of years. We are just not prepared. Of course it does give us a little more sympathy for you. Lot of us women like it when we think about you men sitting by the phone waiting on us to call. But no whining, we don't get to whine, you don't get to whine. So all you say is Hi! Suzie, thanks for coming and she may thank you with a good night kiss. That's the end of chapter two of the Southern Guide to Internet Dating, next week we are going to talk about what to wear on a date and how with white shoes you might want to go there trust me. If you have any questions about your personal dating situation, you can email me at datingmisslora@aol.com Happy dating to you all!