How To Ask Out a Recently Widowed Man

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Dating isn't easy to begin with, but when you are hoping to ask a man out who was recently widowed, it becomes even more of a tricky situation.  If you are interested in dating a man who lost his wife in the not-so-distant past, there are some ways to make it a little less nerve-racking for you and for him.

  1. Before asking out a widowed man try to look for some signs that he just isn't ready to date yet.  If a man talks about his deceased wife to you constantly when you chat, he most likely hasn't moved on yet and isn't ready to date.  If the man still has her voice on his answering machine, then he likely has not let go enough to date yet.  Some signs are subtler than others, but we're all fairly skilled at reading a person's behavior and body language.  It may be best, even if you are interested in him, to not ask him out until he shows some signs of being emotionally available to you as a date. 
  2. When asking out a recently widowed man, make sure you don't come on too strong.  Perhaps the man isn't even interested in dating yet, but wants to gradually ease back into social life, so try to make your request a casual one.  The man  may feel that by agreeing to go out with you, he is cheating on his late wife.  It is important to help him put those feelings of worry aside by simply reaching out to him as a friend. 
  3. Remember to be patient with the man you asked out on date.  It may have been years since he actually has been on a date with a woman other than his wife.  If you do get together for the first time in a casual atmosphere (like meeting for coffee) and it seems a bit awkward, don't worry.  That is to be expected.  Your date may take awhile to get back into the dating groove.  If you really like this man, don't let the mood of the first date determine whether you go out again.  Be patient with your date and ask him to get together again.  It may take several dates before he begins to feel comfortable.
  4. Proceed with caution if you are truly interested in this man who lost his wife.  It is important for all women who want to date a widower to know that just because he agrees to go on a date with you, it doesn't mean he is actually ready to date.  Try not to jump head-first into your hopes that asking this man out will turn into a serious relationship.  A man who lost his wife may be ready to date or even hang out casually with another woman, but that doesn't mean he is ready for a serious commitment.  Most men who lost their spouse aren't able to or ready to move on until they have actually stopped grieving the loss of their spouse.  Just be careful, a man who appears ready to date may arrive at a point in a new relationship when he realizes that he just isn't over his wife's death.

If you are hoping to date a recently widowed man, tread carefully, ask him out as a friend and just be there for him.  He may want to speak about his wife, he may not be ready to date, or he may just need a lot of time before he is completely able to commit to you.  If you prepare for these possibilities, it may make the process of dating a widower a bit easier.


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