How To Argue Without Fighting

You and your significant other have begun to battle on an issue, and the sparks begin to fly. This kind of situation can turn into a heated fight where actions and insults are traded, and that can have a devastating effect on a relationship. To avoid this, put the anger aside and try some of the tips that are discussed below. It is possible to argue in a healthy way, without fighting.

  • First of all, consider your feelings at that moment.  If you are angry, this is not the time to be discussing anything with your partner. Walk away for a few moments, calm down, and then discuss the issue when you both are calmer. If you walk into a discussion while upset, you will only erect barriers between you and your partner. If you are calm, both of you are more open to the other's point of view.
  • Choose to have a conversation instead of a fight. You both have a mutual problem that needs to be solved, so tackle it as a couple. By approaching things together, you will find that two minds really are better than one. The other person can offer insight that is different than yours and can help lead to a solution. Nothing in a relationship is handled alone, as there is always an effect on the other person. If something is frustrating you, tell them in a polite way. You don't have to agree to be treated inappropriately, but politely assert that you will not tolerate that kind of activity.
  • Don't focus on the same problem over and over again, hammering on about it to your partner when you talk. This is annoying, and can be a great point of irritation. When you have communicated something, say it once and then let it go. When you tend to continually focus on the negative, it tends to stick around rather than go away.

By taking on the issue at a time when both of you are calm, asserting your position with love and polite firmness, and being willing to listen to an alternate point of view, you can change a fight into a situation that mutually benefits both of you. Working together in a relationship revolves around open communication, trust, and being able to maturely discuss your feelings without anger and hostility getting in the way. This helps your relationship to grow stronger and last over the length of a lifetime that you both will enjoy and learn from.


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