How To Mourn Your Friend's Death

Great friendships last a lifetime.  A good friend is like a sibling, someone you laugh with and cry with.  She is there for you no matter what the circumstances are.  But what happens when you find yourself faced with the death of your good friend?

As difficult as it seems, you can recover from your friend’s death.  It will take time, patience and support from others.  Mourning the death of your friend won’t be easy, and there are many steps to grieving.

  • Shock
  • Denial
  • Guilt
  • Anger
  • Depression
  • Resignation
  • Acceptance
  • Hope

Some experience all these feelings, while others go through just a few.  Here are some suggestions on how you can mourn your friend’s death.

  1. Mourn.  Allow yourself to cry and feel sad.  Pour your heart out to another friend, a parent, spouse or sibling.  Don’t stop the tears from flowing.  Never bottle up your feelings, let it out.  You need to release all the sadness so that happiness can flow back in.
  2. Give yourself time to heal.  Different people face death at their own terms.  Some are able to cope within a short period of time while others take years to recover.  Just like it took time to develop your loving relationship with your deceased friend, it will take time to heal the wounds of her death.
  3. Grieve on your own terms.  Don’t expect to follow each step in grieving in the order that it is presented to you.  Being angry about the whole situation may come before feelings of guilt.  There is no true order of feelings.  They just happen, so allow them to happen on their own time.
  4. Find support.  Look to people who care for you deeply and allow them to support you in this time of pain.  If you need to, find a support group where you can feel free to share what you are going through.  Having people who understand or at least are willing to listen to you makes all the difference in the world.  Also keep in touch with her family.  They are grieving too and will need your support.
  5. Start a journal.  If you can’t express yourself to others for some reason or another, start a journal.  Write what is in your heart.  You can also write down special memories of her so you won’t forget them.
  6. Focus on the happy times.  When you remember your friend, think of the wonderful times you had.  Focus on positive, happy memories.  Revel in the fact that she is watching over your and will always want you to be happy.
  7. Honor your friend.  Think of a way to celebrate her and most especially your friendship together.  Think of something she has always wanted to do but did not have time to do it.  When you are ready, gather the people who love her and spend time honoring her memory by talking about her passions and things she enjoys.   Donate to her favorite charity or continue her advocacy.  

Death is a part of life that no one is ever prepared to face.  It often doesn’t make sense especially if the person who died was a very dear friend.  But with the help of others, you can overcome the sadness and the pain.  Allow yourself to grieve because in the end of the grieving process, there is hope.


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