How To Tell People Their Behavior is Unacceptable to You

There are people who just annoy you, sometimes for no particular reason at all. And no matter how you try to like them and appreciate them, you feel something is just not right with the way they are behaving, at least from your own point of view.

Well, if you really feel annoyed with how people behave, then it is best that you tell them, rather than let all your negative feelings build up inside you. There is no better way to let them know they turn you off with how they are behaving than by talking to them.

But telling people you don’t like their behavior can be a sensitive matter. Some people have onion skin. And though you do have a point and your observation about their behavior has basis, they cannot accept criticisms or reminders.

The best thing to do is evaluate the situation first. Analyze why their behavior is unacceptable to you. Observe other people as well if they have the same reaction to the same persons whom you have resentment for. If you observe that you seem to be the only one who has that particular reaction, then rethink, for you might just be having a misconception about them.

Now if you find out that you are not the only one who cannot accept these people’s behavior, then it is time to make the move. However, be very careful with your approach. Select a good time, place and situation to talk to these people. Never make the mistake of embarrassing them by talking to them about the issue within the hearing distance of anyone.

Present to them your predicament. Be specific and cite instances if possible, to make them understand why their behavior is unacceptable to you. But do it very nicely and in a friendly manner. Tone down your voice lest they might think you are reprimanding or castigating them. Remain placid and wear a smile throughout. Remember, you are talking to them to solve the matter, not to worsen it by creating a misunderstanding.

After you have laid your cards on the table and presented to them your side, let them have the floor now. Let them talk and explain their side. Listen carefully during their speech and try not to interrupt but note down important points so you can bring them out later for clarification.

This discussion between you and the people who are affecting you may be akin to a gripe session. And sometimes gripe sessions tend to worsen the situation than solve the problem at hand if the parties involved don’t meet at one point. There are times also when the dialogue becomes heated. If this occurs, be the first one to tone down. Don’t feed the fire by answering back their foul argument with more foul words. If you think your ire is building up, take a pause and keep quiet for a while. Resume your talk only when everyone has calmed down.


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